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Published Apr 16, 2021

496: Schizophrenic Mother a Duty Like No Other | Feedback Friday

Jordan Harbinger and Gabriel Mizrahi delve into the emotional and practical challenges of caring for schizophrenic family members, handling divorce and finances, and navigating immigration issues in manipulative relationships, offering insightful strategies for balancing personal well-being and legal rights.
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  • Guilt & Shame

    Managing a mentally ill family member often brings overwhelming guilt and shame. highlights how this guilt can paralyze individuals, making them feel responsible for their parent's well-being while neglecting their own needs. He explains, "If I don't cater to my mom's every need, if I don't do exactly what my sister expects me to do, then I'll feel like a terrible person."

    The quality of her guilt, what she does with that guilt and how it's preventing her from even reconsidering the terms of her relationship with her mom. That's the issue.

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    This internalized guilt often stems from societal expectations and personal upbringing, leading to a suffocating sense of obligation 1 2.

       

    Sibling Dynamics

    Navigating sibling dynamics is crucial when sharing the responsibility of a mentally ill parent. and Gabriel discuss the importance of open communication and collaboration between siblings to prevent feelings of isolation and resentment. They suggest, "Make your sister your partner in this situation. Tell her where you feel like you need to pull back a little."

    The more you can communicate with your sister, the more you can collaborate with her to figure out what's fair to both of you.

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    By working together, siblings can better support each other and their parent, while also addressing their own needs and boundaries 3 4.

       

    Boundary Setting

    Setting boundaries with a mentally ill family member is challenging but essential for personal well-being. emphasizes that boundaries are meant to protect oneself, even if the family member doesn't understand them. He notes, "The point of boundaries is to protect you, whether she recognizes them or not."

    That right there, that feeling of drowning in this care-taking role, that inner voice that's yelling, "This is too much, this isn't right. I need to escape. I need to be my own person." That's the part of you that has never been acknowledged to your family or in your family.

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    Establishing these boundaries allows individuals to maintain their own identity and mental health while still offering support to their family member 5 6.

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