Jordan Harbinger avatar

Dexa/Jordan Harbinger

Learn more
Published Jul 23, 2021

538: Already Dreading Your Abusive Brother's Wedding | Feedback Friday

Hosts Jordan Harbinger and Gabriel Mizrahi delve into complex family dynamics, offering insights on managing an abusive relative's wedding and finding forgiveness, while also addressing therapy, dating with disabilities, and overcoming workplace hurdles with practical and humorous advice.
Episode Highlights
The Jordan Harbinger Show logo

Topics covered

Popular Clips

Questions from this episode

Episode Highlights

  • Setting Boundaries

    emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, especially in complex family dynamics. He acknowledges the trauma and gaslighting the listener has endured and praises her for seeking help and taking care of herself. advises that it's perfectly acceptable to decline speaking at her brother's wedding if it makes her uncomfortable, highlighting the necessity of drawing boundaries to protect one's mental health 1. Jordan and Dr. Margolis also discuss how people-pleasing can be a trauma response, a way to avoid conflict and maintain connections, even at the cost of one's own well-being 2.

    What starts as protection can become a prison.

    --- Sue Johnson

    Jordan encourages the listener to work through these feelings in therapy and to empower herself to set healthy boundaries.

       

    Complicated Relationships

    Navigating complicated relationships with family members, especially after traumatic experiences, can be challenging. discusses a listener's struggle with her father's expectations after his release from prison. He advises balancing time between her father and cousins, emphasizing the importance of setting personal priorities and not feeling guilty for wanting to spend time with others 3. Gabriel also touches on the need for better boundaries to maintain healthy relationships, suggesting that being assertive about one's own needs does not make one a bad daughter or friend 4.

    You are your own people with your own needs.

    ---

    Jordan adds that meaningful time spent with her father can reduce guilt and help her feel more in control of her life 5.

       

    Forgiveness and Healing

    Forgiveness and healing are crucial steps in dealing with past traumas. advises a listener on managing expectations when confronting her abusive brother, suggesting that while seeking closure is important, it's essential to be realistic about the outcomes 6. Jordan and Gabriel discuss the listener's dilemma of speaking at her brother's wedding, acknowledging the difficulty of balancing honesty with family expectations 7.

    This wedding speech, it's like a crucible, you know, like a test.

    ---

    They encourage her to stand up for herself and break free from toxic patterns, emphasizing that healing can continue even without her brother's acknowledgment 8.

Related Episodes