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Published Mar 5, 2020

321: How to Ask for Advice | Deep Dive

Jordan Harbinger and Gabriel Mizrahi delve into the art of asking for advice, highlighting common pitfalls, crafting effective questions, and the thoughtful processing and implementation of received guidance.
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  • Vague Questions

    emphasizes the importance of asking specific and intentional questions when seeking advice. He explains that vague questions like "I need help chasing my dream" are too broad and often stem from a sense of entitlement or laziness 1. Instead, meaningful advice comes from well-thought-out, object-oriented questions, even if they aren't hyper-specific 2.

    Most people seek advice when they don't know where to go. The smartest people seek advice when they've gone as far as they can.

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    adds that doing your own research before asking questions maximizes the value of the advice you receive.

       

    Resisting Advice

    discusses the inherent resistance people have to accepting advice. He notes that this resistance is built into the human brain and can only be overcome by consciously committing to being open to new perspectives 3. This means listening without judgment and separating the stages of listening and evaluating advice.

    The mistake most people make is that they collapse the stage of listening with the stage of judging, and they judge while they listen, which usually means that they're not listening at all.

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    adds that people often recruit others into their mental resistance, seeking confirmation for their reluctance to follow advice 4.

       

    Seeking Validation

    and explore how people often seek validation rather than genuine advice. Jordan shares an anecdote about someone who asked for advice but was actually looking for encouragement to pursue a pre-made decision 5. Gabriel explains that this behavior stems from a desire for validation and permission rather than a willingness to hear and act on real advice.

    Asking for advice the right way is half the battle, but the other half is being willing to actually listen to it.

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    They highlight the importance of being open to advice, even when it challenges one's preconceived notions 6.

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