11: How to Deal with Conversational Narcissists | Feedback Friday

Identifying Narcissists

Conversational narcissists often dominate discussions by constantly redirecting topics back to themselves, showing little interest in others. Jordan Harbinger explains that these individuals might not even realize their behavior, especially if they lack social skills or have developed bad habits over time 1. He suggests that calling them out might not be effective if they are true narcissists, as they inherently believe the conversation should revolve around them 2.

If they are a real narcissist, they won’t. It won’t work. Because if there are narcissists, they’re thinking, “Yeah, of course we’re talking about me. Why wouldn’t we be?”

--- Jordan Harbinger

However, if they are simply unaware, a gentle nudge might help them become more self-aware and considerate in conversations.

   

Strategies and Advice

When dealing with conversational narcissists, especially in professional settings, Jordan advises using tactful strategies. He suggests redirecting conversations subtly, a technique he humorously refers to as "conversational judo," to steer discussions towards more inclusive topics 3. Addressing the issue privately is crucial, as public confrontation can create unnecessary tension and defensiveness 4.

If you handle it that way instead of, “God, you’re such a conversational narcissist. Talk about yourself much. Jesus, get out of my face.” That’s going to be a different type of conversation that’s not going to go as well.

--- Jordan Harbinger

By framing feedback constructively, you can help them recognize their behavior without causing embarrassment or conflict.