575: Benjamin Hardy | Minding the Gap and the Gain

Identifying the Gap

Benjamin Hardy explains how to identify when you're in 'the gap,' a mindset where you focus on what you haven't achieved rather than your progress. He shares a personal anecdote about being called out by a friend for being in the gap while writing a book, highlighting the importance of recognizing this mindset 1. Jordan Harbinger adds that it's challenging to avoid comparing oneself to others, especially during the pandemic, but emphasizes the need to focus on intrinsic motivation 2.

If you think you should be doing something, then you're probably in the gap. You can do what you want to do.

--- Benjamin Hardy

   

Impact of the Gap

Living in 'the gap' can significantly impact mental health and emotional well-being. Benjamin Hardy notes that high achievers often fall into this mindset, constantly chasing external accomplishments to fill an internal void 3. He explains that this leads to devaluing one's past experiences and achievements, resulting in a lack of joy and fulfillment 4. Jordan Harbinger shares an example from his finance career, where colleagues were unhappy despite receiving substantial bonuses.

When you go into the gap, you devalue everything about yourself. You devalue your experience. You devalue your past.

--- Benjamin Hardy

   

Transitioning to the Gain

Transitioning from 'the gap' to 'the gain' involves mindfulness, gratitude, and reflection. Jordan Harbinger practices daily gratitude exercises with his wife, which helps them focus on positive experiences and accomplishments 5. Benjamin Hardy emphasizes the importance of measuring progress against oneself rather than arbitrary ideals, turning experiences into gains 6. This shift in perspective can lead to post-traumatic growth and a more fulfilling life.

When you're in the gap, you let your experience happen to you. When you're in the gain, you happen to your experiences.

--- Benjamin Hardy